Moving Target
by LadyAlambiel
Summary: From target practice to moving target...was this part of the plan?


Disclaimer: I don't own Narnia or any characters you may recognize from the books or the movies, I wish I did but I don't... I also don't own the Narnian Calendar. It belongs to Elecktrum who was kind enough to let me borrow it for my story. Her own stories are awesome and you should go read them too.

Summary: From target practice to moving target...was this part of the plan?

A/N: The revenge oneshot requested by Hunted Daughter of a Ranger and Lady Firewing for _Target Practice_. Hope you enjoy it! This is part of my _A Light in the Darkness_ universe, but can be read as a standalone. Slight spoilers for _Shadowed_ and _Revealed_.

**Moving Target**

ӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁ

12 Mayblossom 1002

It was just past third hour in the morning. Now, why was I up? Simple: revenge. I grinned evilly as I kept preparing my special surprise for those trí morons amadáin a cheap i ndáiríre bhí mé ag dul a ligean ach an deis seo mar phríomhthagairt don díoltas chun pas a fháil dom agus a n-garda a ligean síos anois go bhfuil roinnt ama a rith. Ní dóigh liom é. Tá siad ag dul a fháil go díreach cad atá tuillte acu. Ó, tá ar maidin ag dul a bheith spraoi an oiread sin...dom. _(three idiot morons who really thought I was going to just let this prime opportunity for revenge to pass me by and let their guard down now that some time has passed. I don't think so. They are going to get exactly what they deserve. Oh, this morning is going to be so much fun...for me.)_

So...I can be a wee bit vengeful if driven to it. Well, they drove me to it. And, the impromptu fieldtrip Oreius was using for one of the larger training exercises I had personally witnessed thus far was the perfect opportunity for my revenge prank. I glanced down at the mixture and snickered in spite of my best efforts. I took a breath to calm that urge to laugh. Ní mór tús a chur ag gáire ní cosúil le cailleach dÚsachtach olc go dtí tar éis mo phlean olc éirigh leis. _(Must not start laughing like a crazy evil witch until after my evil plan has succeeded.)_

"Dame Sepphora, are you...certain...this is a good idea?"

I looked over at where Sherket had been watching my progress since I first started about an hour ago. The Leopard Captain had helped me pull off pranks against her fellow officers before but she seemed to be rethinking the wisdom of the current one (she didn't fully appreciate my view of carpe diem...yet). I grinned, "Now, Sherket, I never claimed this was a good idea...actually I was thinking more along the lines of a very satisfying and highly entertaining idea." I paused as I gave the mixture one last stir, "You haven't gone over to the camp that thinks I'm completely insane, have you?"

She let out a breathy laugh, "No, Dame Sepphora." She paused then tilted her head to get a better look at the mixture in my hands before she looked back up at me. "I do think that you may be pushing your limits with him this time. How do you know he won't have a worse reaction than the last time?"

I paused...for a whole half a second (never let it be said that I don't take time to consider the consequences of my plans before I carry them out anyway), then shrugged. "Well, if I pushed my limits with him, he will no doubt let me know in the most unmistakable and inescapable of ways. Besides, he still hasn't forgiven me for that little mishap at Glasswater with the Ogres and the Weavers' Guildhouse, so I'm not really going to be any worse off for including him in this particular prank. And, the last time...was unintentional as opposed to this time...so I've no doubt his reaction will be worse."

Sherket narrowed her amber eyes at me and I just smiled, "Now, is he still at breakfast?"

Giving up on trying to persuade me to return to the side of boring sane people, she nodded. "Yes."

I took a step toward the opening of the tent then paused, "And the other two?"

Sherket sighed, "They are both still in their tent, but you must hurry if you are still determined to do this, Dame Sepphora, because we are to assemble at fourth hour."

I nodded. This was going exactly according to plan, not that I was going to say that aloud...let Murphy hear it and the whole thing would be jinxed (I should know, I've more than enough experience with Murphy and his law). I ducked out of my tent with Sherket on my heels and quickly crossed to the tent where all our armor had been set up, carrying a cup of coffee and the bowl of mixture, the one Faun I passed probably assumed I was heading to the cook's tent. Ha!

Once I was past him, I took a quick right then walked into the open tent that held everyone's armor and equipment. Sherket huffed as she watched me walk over to my own armor, "Are you certain this does not break the ban you were placed under by the General?"

I nodded, "He said no pranks in the armory. This is not the armory. It's just the tent providing temporary housing to armor and equipment while we're on this training exercise, so I'm not breaking any bans."

Sherket shook herself then stalked to a spot where she could better play lookout. I could still hear her muttering, "I hope the good General takes the same view of the matter as you otherwise I do believe you shall be in the most trouble since you've come here."

I laughed softly by way of reply as I quickly moved to where Peter and Edmund's helmets were resting upside down waiting for them and carefully poured a portion of the mixture into each helmet. Oh, this was going to be hilarious...if they didn't kill me... Oh, wait I'm talking about Peter and Edmund, I can thrash them easily plus they would have to catch me and I don't see that happening anytime soon... There are benefits to being part Centaur (my Narnian heritage definitely comes in handy when running for one's life, something that happens, well, frequently, not to mention explaining why I can run so fast). I made sure the mixture was spreading evenly inside the helmets and then I moved to the third helmet...I hesitated for a moment, and then I remembered his own version of a prank with that target practice debacle on the archery range. Well, he asked for it. I poured the rest of the mixture into his helmet and prayed I would be able to get a good head start once he realized what I had done. Being part Centaur, I could outrun Peter and Edmund easily. However, the sad fact of the matter was that I didn't have the sheer endurance necessary to outrun a full-blooded Centaur who was also very irritated with me for very long without a decent head start, which makes the fact that Oreius and Ardon had determined that I was to be pushed in my training until my endurance increased to more acceptable Narnian levels (the downside to having the fact that I'm at least half-Narnian is my tormentors disguised as training instructors are no longer content to hold me to Human standards) rather ironic.

Turnabout is fair play. It was a tad cool in the pre-dawn hours, but I was glad of it as I finished pouring the last of the mixture into his helmet because it meant the mix would settle enough that they wouldn't realize right away that there was something in their helmets but it wasn't so cold or so hot that it would either freeze or dry out. I stashed the empty bowl in a small cubby hole near where Sherket was sitting, and then ran to my armor and quickly started pulling it on. Sherket shook her head at me as we heard the muffled thud of hoof beats approaching the tent and I suppressed the urge to grin. I was in the middle of tugging my leather jerkin over my head (it got caught on my braided chignon...yes it happened and yes it was more than once...that's all anyone but me and the jerkin needs to know) when I heard him enter the tent and say some uninteresting things to Sherket about where the battalion under her command would be stationed during today's training exercise. I knew when he noticed me because I heard him make that cough he used to cover up the fact that he was laughing. "Are you stuck, Dame Sepphora?"

"Of course not!" They didn't believe me because half a second after I said that a hand helped pull my jerkin completely down over my head so it landed where it was supposed to...shoulders on down. "Thank you, Ardon."

Ardon chuckled as he walked over to where his helmet awaited just beyond the three helmets I had poured the mixture into, never even noticing there was anything out of the ordinary with them. I thought it was funny that Ardon and Oreius were both in full armor except for their helmets...they always put on their helmets last and, more importantly (since I took advantage of it), they never looked inside their helmets before they put them on. I shrugged into my chainmail, and then fastened my cuirass over it. I patted the back of my cuirass absently searching for my knives out of habit only to stop when I remembered the knives I searched for were no longer usable (stabbing them into a sorcerer's staff will have that effect). Oreius gave me an amused look, "Still no luck with Baumur?"

I made a face, "No, he won't even talk to me. He is talking to Edmund and telling him to relate the message to the "irresponsible girlie who destroyed some of the greatest metal-crafting I have achieved in less than six months." Don't laugh, you two, this is what he says when I'm in the room with them. According to Edmund, that was the toned-down version." I shrugged as I grabbed Chrysaor, the Sword of Esti, and buckled it around my waist. "Apparently the fact that the knives were sacrificed in order to protect Peter doesn't count for anything with Baumur...stubborn Dwarf."

Oreius chuckled as Peter and Edmund came looking for their armor. "Do not worry, Katerina Alambiel, Baumur will eventually forgive you and you will receive new knives."

I paused, "When exactly do you think that will be?"

Oreius shrugged, "Years, months if you're fortunate and Baumur is in a forgiving mood."

I shook my head, "Not helping." All four of them chuckled at my tone and then I had to quickly turn around to subdue the urge to laugh when I saw all four of them put their helmets on...three of whom apparently oblivious to the little extra something special I added to their helmets. They walked past me with Oreius giving us our assignments (I was with Sherket, Peter with Oreius, and Edmund with Ardon) and I held my breath as I watched them for any sign that they felt or realized there was something to feel in their helmets that did not belong. Nothing. They were walking around with dye in their helmets and they had no idea whatsoever. Is breá liom a n-mhuinín gan trácht go ní ba mhaith liom leomh iarracht a leithéid de rud! _(I love their oblivious confidence that I would not dare attempt such a thing!)_

I looked at Sherket and the Leopard Captain shook her head while I snickered. Oh, were those three in for a surprise when they took their helmets off. It was a good thing I was assigned to Sherket because if I had been with the other three I would have blown my prank because I wouldn't have been able to stop laughing at the thought of what was in their helmets. I followed Sherket to her troop and threw myself into the training exercise, all the while hoping I didn't miss the moment when Oreius, Peter, and Edmund took off their helmets for the first time.

We had spent the entire morning and most of the afternoon in the midst of the training exercise Oreius had designed to prepare us for if a single battalion (Sherket and I, go figure) were beset upon by an enemy and then the enemy was joined by an ally force. Could we just say "Helllooo Muurrphy" and be done with it? The horn that marked the end of the training exercise finally sounded (it was about time...we had missed lunch) and Sherket and I took stock of our status. Amazingly, we hadn't been completely wiped out...only partially wiped out (oh joy, we lived to be fodder another day). But, we had also dealt serious (pretend) damage to both enemy forces, enough so that their leaders called for a strategic retreat. Soldiers got up from where they had fallen in feigned death or serious injury, teasing their comrades about bad acting and such (Aslan knew we had more than a few hams with us), while I glared at Oreius. "What was the point of this particular training scenario?"

He looked at me as if trying to decide whether I had asked in seriousness or not (I had) before he replied in that tone that said I should know this already. "Numbers do not win a battle." Oh that.

I rolled my eyes, "Oreius, the only people who say that frequently are the ones who are frequently outnumbered." Edmund snickered from where he and Peter were standing just to our right.

Oreius grinned, "That does not make it any less true, Sepphora."

"Uh huh, sure." I was going to say something else about it, but then I noticed Peter and Edmund were pulling their helmets off and Oreius...Oreius was also loosening the chinstrap of his helmet. Ooops, almost forgot about my own prank. I glanced at Sherket who was watching intently, and then I started to very carefully back out of range of Oreius' immediate reach.

Ardon took a step back in surprise as Oreius pulled off his helmet, but before he could say anything...Peter and Edmund both shouted in shock as they caught sight of each other's hair. I backed up further as I clamped a hand over my mouth to keep myself from laughing my head off just yet. The boys' hair was an amalgam of every shade of pink I could get my hands on: light baby pink, magenta, deep pink, Barbie pink, rose pink, and so forth. Tie-dye pink hair...Okay, I might have been feeling a wee bit vindictive and evil when I put the prank together.

But, Oreius...Oreius had the worst of it. He had noticed the inside of his helmet and had looked up when Peter and Edmund shouted, so he had probably guessed what had happened to him but... I quickly backed up until Ardon was between me and Oreius. But, Oreius' hair was its normal black for the lower third of it (whatever his helmet didn't cover) while the rest was also tie-dye pink so he looked more like he had had a run-in with Barbie commando. Oh, I should not have thought that because a laugh broke free, which had the unfortunate side effect if drawing everyone's attention to myself before I was as far from Oreius as I had hoped to be when he realized what had happened.

Two heartbeats passed and then... "SEPPHORA!"

Oh, he was mad! Contrary to popular belief, I do have some sense of self-preservation, which prompted me to start running. And, I did run...believe me there's nothing that motivates you quicker to run as fast as possible like being chased by a furious adult Centaur who's armed and twice my size...hmm, looking back, I should have thought about that fact a little more before I included Oreius in such a public prank. I ran into the woods to our immediate west then ducked to the left, narrowly avoiding Oreius' lunge to grab me. I might have yelped, but I'll never admit to it, no matter what Oreius says about it.

I slid under a low tree branch and pressed through some thick bushes in an attempt to lose the Kentauri long enough for him to calm down so he wouldn't do something I would regret. I looked over my shoulder and giggled again when I met Oreius' glare, it was the hair I couldn't help it with the hair. "You know, Kentauri, pink's not really your color."

Oreius did not appreciate my observation at all, which he made clear by way of spitting out a curse. Oh, he was really, really mad if he was in a cursing mood. And, what did I do? What I always do if not running from the furious Kentauri, of course... I taunted him. "Temper, temper."

That backfired on me...terribly. He lunged forward. I leaped backward. In typical Murphy-fashion, I fell down an embankment and smacked into someone. "Sorry, I- Oh no." I looked up and cut myself off mid-apology as I realized I had run smack dab into a Fell Beast...a single eye blinked at me...correction, I had run smack dab into a Cyclopes of all creatures. He looked over his shoulder and I gulped as another Cyclopes peered around the first one to look at me. I repeat: "Oh no." I'd rather have the angry Centaur. I should go find the angry Centaur...

I turned and ran toward a break in the bushes framing the embankment. As for why I didn't just stab the Fell Beasts with Chrysaor, well, I had taken Chrysaor off before we had gathered and Oreius and the boys had revealed their new hair color change. I was definitely regretting that decision. I ran through the break in the bushes and into Edmund, grabbed his hand, and yanked him around with me. "Trust me, you do _not_ want to go that way."

The Cyclopes let out twin bellows and Edmund shouted, "Kat, what did you do?" Did he think I _planned_ for this to happen? Because I certainly didn't.

"Less talk, more running."

The two Cyclopes clambered after us as I dragged Edmund along behind me and we continued running through the woods. Until I jerked us to a stop in front of a solid rock face and there was no way up...I hated Murphy. "Well, that's not good."

Edmund gave me a disgusted look, "No, Kat, this is just what we want: to have a little tête-à-tête with a couple of Cyclopes!" He wasn't even twelve yet...was he supposed to use the phrase 'tête-à-tête' (and correctly to boot)?

The Cylcopes duo stormed toward us with their clubs raised and I dragged Edmund back once more when I caught the sound of something other than the two Cyclopes intent on smashing us to a pulp. He tried to protest, but I knew it was one time where we needed to keep our heads down. "Be still, pinky!" Well, that got his undivided attention as he glared at me.

A moment later, one of the Cyclopes bellowed in pain as a very familiar (not to mention loud) war cry split the air. Oreius had found us. Apparently, he was channeling all that anger at my prank into fighting the Cyclopes...that was good (I might live after all). Another war cry accompanied the sound of thundering hooves before Ardon slammed against the Cyclops closest to Edmund and I with Peter not far behind him. Edmund stood as soon as Peter arrived, while I decided I should still keep my head down...it wasn't just the Cyclopses after me, you know.

Those Cyclopes didn't really have a chance once Oreius and Ardon arrived and they were dead not even a full five minutes later. I sighed as I finally stood back up and walked a little closer to where the four of them were gathered around the nearest dead Cyclopes. Oreius leveled a glare at me and...I got distracted by his hair, so it didn't really work on me. "Katerina Alambiel, you found two Cyclopes." I nodded (if I tried to talk, I would start laughing again) and he continued, "Last month, you found Ogres. How do you manage to find more Fell Beasts by accident than the patrols find when sent to hunt down reported Fell Beasts?"

I shrugged, "Murphy?"

He gave me a look that said he would dearly like to strangle me at that moment. I stared at my boots before I started laughing again. I could hear his patience hanging by a thread when he asked, "Why?"

"Target practice."

He gave me a look of pure disbelief before he repeated, "Target practice? You mean you decided to do this because of a training exercise from last month."

I nodded as I cheerfully stated, "Yes, although I admit I did not expect to become a moving target for you and the Cyclopes, who weren't part of my plan by the way."

Oreius gave me a rather scathing look on the heels of that statement...it would have been more effective if not for the tie-dye pink hair. I snickered in spite of my best efforts. Fortunately, Ardon decided to interfere by grabbing me by the back of my cuirass and dragging me back to the camp while Oreius and the boys went to work washing all the dye out of their hair. That was probably a good thing. Sitting in the tent, scouring the inside of the helmets after I had already cleaned and polished the rest of the armor in the entire camp (my punishment from Ardon), I still couldn't help grinning whenever I thought of their respective owners with tie-dye pink hair. I stopped grinning when we got back to the Cair and Oreius handed down his punishment: two weeks of intensive training where I started at third hour and stuck around until he felt like dismissing me.

ӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁ

**A/N: Please Read and Review! So, here's that requested revenge, hopefully you liked it. Next update you see should be for _Revealed_. Leave a review below and let me know what you thought about this one and if you have any more requests/suggestions, include them in your review or send them vie PM.**


End file.
